Solitude and Realization

I feel like the solitude and challenge of this summer has been exactly what my soul has needed for quite some time. The last half of last semester was arguably one of the absolute worst times of my entire life for many different reasons. I was so ready to get to the suburbs, start my internship, and deal with God in some areas of my life and get things figured out for myself. I needed time to heal, to be away from everyone and everything and just....be.
Over the course of the last 6 or so weeks, I have learned what it means to rest in, trust in, and set my sites on things that actually matter. I have been filled to the brim with joy that can only come from my Heavenly Father after a time when I didn't know if I would ever feel that same joy again. I have learned what it means to be reliant on Him and Him alone in EVERY situation, not just the ones where I am found desperate. I have experienced a peace and a calmness in my heart over issues and challenges that I thought I could and would never come to terms with. I have experienced just a taste of an amazing intimacy with a Savior who has stood by me through all of this with open arms.
But through all of this I have come to realize that I have been the most selfish person. I have made everything "my issues" "my feelings" "my heart" "my drama" "my emotions" "my life," when none of this matters in the end anyways. After Awake this past weekend, our Junior High event, I have learned that the Christian life and just life in general is about so much more than me. In fact it's not about me at all. It's about living a life that is worthy of the title, "Christian" or "Little Christ." It's about loving those around me with a love similar to that of the Father. It's about dying children and families in Africa who have been struck by the AIDS epidemic. It's about millions all over the world who still, to this day are bound by the chains of slavery. It's about the largest genocide in human history taking place in Darfur. It's about lost friends and family that I see everyday and don't say a word about Christ to. It's about 200 junior high students dancing and praising God for the wonderful works He has done in their lives. It's about the youth of today rising up and bringing justice, peace, and love to a lost and dying world. It's about becoming a woman who lives life with wreckless abandonment and child like faith. It's about being worthy of the title "Child of God." It's about being content with who He has made me to be, and using that to accomplish great things and further His kingdom.
It never should have been about me, and I hope it never is again....

This Is New for Me.....

So, I've been a pretty avid blogger in the past. However, my blogging usually consisted of Xanga posting nightly about the happenings of my days all through my early years of college. I've decided that these days there are far too many thoughts running through my head then to just let them rot in my brain. I might as well share them in a more "sophisticated arena" such as this blogspot! I look forward to sharing my thoughts and dreams with you along the way!